Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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