Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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