I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
