Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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