you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You ruined the universe
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
