It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Panties = found
Randomize
