so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize