He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
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