i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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