it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
