I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
