i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
