I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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