Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
only if we run a train.
done.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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