i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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