Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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