All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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