And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
