if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
