were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i believe in u and ur pee
I came so hard my ears popped.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
