well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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