i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
