she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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