____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
