Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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