I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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