your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
