Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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