Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
