just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize