Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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