note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
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Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
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I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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