sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
