Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
