She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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