i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
