His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
