I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my phone needs a breathalizer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
