He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This is the high leading the old right now
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
