did you get engaged???
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
