Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
