I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
