I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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