HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
