I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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