Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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