can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
how does that bad decision feel?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
