I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
