You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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