How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
