Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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