my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize