It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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