I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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