laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
