so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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