By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
