Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
