His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize