he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
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I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize