i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
