If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize