Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
