Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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