Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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