I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
