Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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