Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
